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Mold Spore Excited to Start First Day as Magnet Student at St. Croix Educational Complex

St. Croix — Today marked the beginning of the 2019-2020 school year in the Virgin Islands! To get some reactions to the schools opening for this new school year, we caught up with one excited mold spore to get their thoughts on the beginning of the upcoming school year.

“I’ve been in every classroom at this point. Floating alongside every student, including the honor students. So when the time came to take the Magnet test, I figured I might as well just take a chance,” the spore said. “What do they know that I don’t know? I mean, I’m already gonna be sitting through the classes anyway, so it wouldn’t hurt anyone if I went ahead and enrolled.”

We reached out to the teachers and students for comments, but none could be reached, as they had all left the island for treatment of respiratory illnesses.

Editor’s note: This is a satirical article that holds no factual basis. However, public schools in the U.S. Virgin Islands still have dangerous levels of mold spores since Hurricane Irma and Maria made landfall in 2017 that could negatively impact the health of students, faculty, and staff.